Meet Lorraine

I help women like you embrace biblical femininity and homemaking by studying the seasons of the Proverbs 31 woman, identify your current season, and equip you with the tools to build the home you have always dreamed of with confidence and freedom.

I have often had people express that I must have the perfect life...and I wanted to keep that appearance no matter what it took...until it almost killed me.

I come from a conservative Christian background and I still identify as a conservative Christian. But, during my formative years as I became a young woman, I do believe that there were some ways in which biblical femininity was twisted in my circles into something it is clearly not in Scripture. I truly believed that a biblically feminine woman meant you were incredibly meek and submissive, appearing to have the perfect home, marriage, and life to the outside world to the point where others could misuse and abuse you. And, trust me – they did misuse and abuse me.

I was even a Home Economics major in college where we studied Proverbs 31, Titus 2, submission, the fruits of the Spirit, and more and I still had such a wrong view of what it meant to be truly feminine. I was involved in biblically strong churches and Bible studies and thought I had it all correct. I thought that I was representing Christ well as I worked myself to death, allowed my then-husband to beat me into submission, tried desperately to make my home and marriage perfect – because, obviously, that is what it meant to be a Proverbs 31 woman.

One day, I had finally had enough.

It was a friend in the workplace who astonished me with her marriage that started to open my eyes to the fact that something was WRONG with the way I was living. She was this beautifully confident and kind Christian woman, both in the home and in the workplace. I saw how she kept her home (it was well-managed, but, definitely not perfect because, as she said, “We live here.”) and I saw how she confronted her husband when he was disrespectful to her. She believed in biblical submission and loving her home and family, but, her life was so DIFFERENT. It was messy and imperfect – and, yet, she was not apologetic at all. I was amazed at her life.

I began to want the same confidence as her – the confidence to present my real self to the world without shame. I wanted the confidence to act as an equal in my marriage. I wanted the confidence to be a feminine woman who was unafraid of what others thought. I wanted to find my confidence in Christ, but, it would require a re-wiring of my brain and thinking. Was everything I had been taught a lie?

The only way that I knew how to shed my lie of a life was to completely rebel against all I had known – it was rebel or die by my own hand or my then-husband’s hand. I said and did things that I will never be rid of in my head and heart. I know Christ has forgiven me and I have made amends where I can – but I am not the same person I used to be because of my past.

Dear sister, I do not want you to have to go through the same pain and heartache and shame that I went through. It is my hope to help other women know the true meaning of biblical femininity so that these types of scenarios and heartbreaks can be avoided at all costs.

As I emerged from the wreckage of that time, I threw myself back into my home church and refused to let myself live a lie anymore. I was raw and real with the people in my church and – guess what – they welcomed me with open arms. The fears I had previously held onto of not being accepted and loved and respected if people knew what a mess of a life I was living were completely assuaged. In fact, I had never felt closer to my brothers and sisters in Christ.

As I was counseled, studied Scripture, and sat under the preaching of godly men, I began to realize how terribly wrong I had been about the Proverbs 31 woman. Yes, there are aspects of her life that can be emulated at any point in our life’s journey, but, we are not meant to be perfect by any means. The Proverbs 31 woman is a description of a godly woman’s entire life and not one moment of her life in her 30s. How freeing this was and is to me.

This new way of looking at the Proverbs 31 woman became a guide to me as I learned to manage a home on my own and earn an income as a single woman. However, it became even more of an encouragement as I married my now-husband (who is incredible, btw), became a full-time homemaker in rural northern California, navigated the loss of our first baby through a miscarriage, welcomed our firstborn and second baby within 16 months of each other, moved homes, and gave birth to our twin girls all within the first four years of our marriage. It has been a wonderful whirlwind of a time, but, through it all, I have STILL had to continually release my grip on perfectionism.

Perfectionism is a lie sold to us by the world. We are meant to be more than that. As Christians, we are perfect before God because of Christ’s work on the cross and not our own. This world is not our home – rather – it is a place where we are meant to live as salt and light. How can we do that if we pretend we have it all together when we don’t? We need to let the world see how Christ loves us in our weaknesses, how He equips us when life is hard, and how all we do is to be an act of worship to Him.

So, one of my life’s passions is now working alongside other women who desire to live a life pleasing to the Lord, are intimidated by the standards set forth in Scripture, and want the tools and confidence to embrace who they are in Christ and where they are in life. There is no wrong answer in how we apply Proverbs 31:10-31. The only wrong answer is to NOT study Scripture and apply it to our lives. Let’s not do it alone – let’s do it together.